To e-book or not to e-book? That is the question.
Okay. Let’s back up a sec. *sigh*
Discussing my struggles with writing is not one of my favorite pastimes, but I also feel I have to be honest when people ask about my latest endeavors. I can’t just say, “Great! Everything’s great!” They want proof. Those not in “the game” seem to think finding an agent is as easy as going to the Yellow Pages (or Google), calling the agent of your choice, and having them sign you up. No. Not a bit. I’ve had introductions to agents from friends who are their clients. No cigar. I’ve sent out more queries (that’s a one-page letter telling a bit about your book and yourself) than I want to admit (in the dozens, people, in the dozens). I’ve come soooooo close, with agents asking for sample chapters or even the whole manuscript, only to tell me that the writing is good but the story isn’t compelling/special/great. Or, they might think the novel’s idea is fantastic, but the execution in too plodding, etc. Or, they think the market is too saturated with the kind of story I’ve written. What it comes down to for agents—can they sell this thing?
I guess I thought success would come a little faster—or at all—when I published my first novel Year of the Smoke Girl with a small press. This was back in 2000, and the publisher, Dry Bones Press, Inc., consisted of one guy, Jim Rankin, who was using his disability money and some incentives from Lightning Source—a print on demand printer owned by Ingram—to publish books, first in nursing, then in other genres. I will always be grateful to Jim for giving me a break, although the whole process was rather frustrating. But I’ll save that for another post.
Back to success, or lack of it. I had hoped with my next novel I’d move on from the small indie press world to a larger, mid-sized press, perhaps with the help of an agent, but that didn’t happen. In 2003, I told one of my writer friends that I was thinking of giving up. She said helpfully, “Maybe writing can just be your hobby.” She wasn’t the greatest at pep talks. But maybe she was right, I thought. Maybe I should just slap that L on my forehead and admit I’m a big old LOSER.
About a year later, however, I started to draft another book (my fourth), because you see, writing for me is like some kind of disease, even if it’s bad writing. What was my subject? Well, I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer (high school angst combined with the supernatural–awesome combo!), although at the time I hadn’t read any adult supernatural stuff and had only read YA horror when I was actually a YA (remember, when I started writing my novel, this was pre Twilight). Of course, like most people, I’d read the Harry Potter series and loved it. I had done some research on modern Wiccans, and I thought it would be funny if a witch who had been raised in this religion actually had superpowers and didn’t know what to do with them. As a person who is half-Chinese, half-white, I thought it would be even more interesting if she was biracial. I had once attended a Samhain potluck, where basically everyone was white except one Asian woman, and I thought, What the hell is she doing here? I’d love to know her story. So that’s how my character Memphis Zhang was born.
Here’s another little tidbit about me: This fall, I turn 40. I have always been blase about getting older, but as I actually do add on the years, I’m taking aging more seriously. I had hoped to be further along in my fiction writing career by this point. Some of my writing friends have started to encourage me to self-publish—excuse me, I think the term used today is independently publish or indie publish—my book as an e-book and hope for the success of Amanda Hocking. Maybe as a birthday gift to myself, I will. Come along for the ride—it’ll be fun!
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